Advice for teen feeling pressured to drink and use drugs

Dear Jack,

I’m a freshman in high school and new to the area.  I came from a small farming town in the Midwest and moved to Oregon last January.  It was really tough coming to a new school in the middle of the year and especially hard coming in as a freshman. Living on a farm was hard work and I was busy most of the time helping care for the animals and the crops.  Because of the current economic problems, we had to sell our farm, move to where my dad could get work and are now living in an apartment.

I really want to fit in, but to be part of the “in crowd” I’m pressured into drinking and doing drugs.  It’s only beer and pot so my friends tell me,”It’s no big deal.”  I’ll admit that I’ve tried drinking and smoking, but it makes me feel weird and out of control.  What should I do?  I don’t want to be an outcast.

J.K.

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Dear J.K.,

Thanks for writing to me about a problem that plague many teens today.  I can imagine how hard it must be moving from a farming community to town life and beginning a new school too.  Making new friends can be a challenge.  It sounds like you have made some friends, but I’m not sure they are the right ones for you.  Peer pressure can be a very difficult to resist and if you are trying to fit in, it may lead to you making poor choices. I appreciate your honesty about the choices you have made, but I hope you will take to heart the information I want to pass on to you.

Drinking and drugs are two of the main problems facing teens today, sex being the third.  Drinking inhibits your ability to make educated choices, decisions and behaviors.  It is also a depressant so if you are feeling sad about anything, drinking can make it worse. Alcohol poisoning is on the rise with teens partying, drinking straight shots of hard alcohol then following up with beer.  Before they know it they can go into convulsions, pass out and, sometimes, die.

Drinking can also lead to using other drugs. Your ability to reason is diminished and again poor choices are made.  Pot use makes one tired and lazy.  You don’t have the energy to do anything and just feel zoned out.  Once high teens may think they are having in-depth conversations about the meaning of life or whatever, but to those around them, who are clean and sober, it may sound like gibberish.

Making healthy choices gives you the ability to have control over your life, choosing what you want to do with a clear head, not alcohol or drugs making the choices for you.  You must be in control of your life, not have your life control you and that‘s what happens when you drink and use.  I hope you take my advice and find others who want to experience life through clear eyes, not ones clouded with addictions.  If you want to talk to my mom, Toni, about this or anything else, just call CAC at (541) 734-5437 X107 or email my mom at trichmond@cacjc.org.

Jack

Advice for a teen: "I am worried about my friend's drinking!"

Dear Jack,

I’m writing to you because I am worried about my best friend.  We used to do everything together, but now she’s hanging with a different crowd at school and just isn’t the same person.  This new crowd is pretty rowdy and they like to party a lot.  I’m worried she’s been drinking, but I’m not sure.  Her attitude, appearance and habits are different.  Can you tell me some of the warning signs of someone who is using or abusing alcohol?  What can I do to help if she is drinking? 

Thanks,

Megan

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Dear Megan, 

It’s really difficult to know what to say to someone we are concerned about, especially if we’re not sure how they will respond to our concerns.  Here are some signs that may indicate use and/or abuse of alcohol:

Having friends who drink.

Having red or glassy eyes.

Being careless about personal appearance.

Being tired, making repeated health complaints.

Having diminished interest in hobbies or favorite activities.

Having trouble paying attention and remembering things.

Having changes in school performance, tardiness, absenteeism, or disciplinary problems.

Acting irresponsibly or irrationally.

Using poor judgment and engaging in risky behavior.

Lying.

It’s good to know if the people you are close to are drinking so you can step in and offer help.  Friends are there to support and look out for each other.  It’s important, even though it may be difficult, to talk about it in a relaxed, nonthreatening way.  Tell your friend you are concerned about her well-being and you don’t think badly of her.  Support and encourage her to get help.  Suggest a hotline, or a place she can get help or find someone to talk to.  Remember not to drop it.  You need to keep after her, even if she hates you at first.  Trust me, it could save her life.

If you want to talk to someone about this, you can call my mom, Toni, at the Children's Advocacy Center. Her phone number is: (541) 282-5474 EXT 107. Her email address is: trichmond@cacjc.org

Good luck Megan, you are a good friend.

Jack