Dear Jack,
I’m writing to you because I am worried about my best friend. We used to do everything together, but now she’s hanging with a different crowd at school and just isn’t the same person. This new crowd is pretty rowdy and they like to party a lot. I’m worried she’s been drinking, but I’m not sure. Her attitude, appearance and habits are different. Can you tell me some of the warning signs of someone who is using or abusing alcohol? What can I do to help if she is drinking?
Thanks,
Megan
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Dear Megan,
It’s really difficult to know what to say to someone we are concerned about, especially if we’re not sure how they will respond to our concerns. Here are some signs that may indicate use and/or abuse of alcohol:
Having friends who drink.
Having red or glassy eyes.
Being careless about personal appearance.
Being tired, making repeated health complaints.
Having diminished interest in hobbies or favorite activities.
Having trouble paying attention and remembering things.
Having changes in school performance, tardiness, absenteeism, or disciplinary problems.
Acting irresponsibly or irrationally.
Using poor judgment and engaging in risky behavior.
Lying.
It’s good to know if the people you are close to are drinking so you can step in and offer help. Friends are there to support and look out for each other. It’s important, even though it may be difficult, to talk about it in a relaxed, nonthreatening way. Tell your friend you are concerned about her well-being and you don’t think badly of her. Support and encourage her to get help. Suggest a hotline, or a place she can get help or find someone to talk to. Remember not to drop it. You need to keep after her, even if she hates you at first. Trust me, it could save her life.
If you want to talk to someone about this, you can call my mom, Toni, at the Children's Advocacy Center. Her phone number is: (541) 282-5474 EXT 107. Her email address is: trichmond@cacjc.org
Good luck Megan, you are a good friend.
Jack
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