How to tell people what's bothering you

Dear Jack,

My name is Ben and I’m kind of big for my age.  Sometimes kids in the neighborhood say they are afraid of me.  I haven’t done anything wrong, but when I get mad I might frown and raise my voice.  Then they run away and tell their parents that I have been mean.  What can I do to let them know that I may not like what they are doing or saying without them thinking I’m going to hurt them?  Does this ever happen to you?  Do you ever scare kids when you have done nothing wrong?

Ben

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Dear Ben,

Sometimes I get scared of really little kids even though I’m bigger than them.  Once a little boy grabbed my nose and pinched me.  Ever since then I’m not sure what another little kid will do.  My mom is there to protect me, but sometimes I might growl to let her know I want them to stop patting, petting or just touching me.  

I guess that’s like when you frown and raise your voice.  You’re not going to hurt them; you’re just letting them know you don’t like what they are doing.  Maybe, if you stay calm, don’t frown or raise your voice, just tell them what is bothering you, it may change things. 

I can’t use words so by giving a little rumble in my throat, my mom knows to stop the little kids and let their parents know that I’m scared and why.  By doing this, both the little kid and I are protected. I hope this helps.   

If you want you can always call my mom, Toni, at the Advocacy Center.

Jack