Dear Jack,
I’m writing because I think there is something wrong with me. I have such bad feelings almost every day. Sometimes I just hate people and want something awful to happen to them. Other times I’m so sad all I do is cry. My big brother thinks I’m crazy and tells me I’m like a roller coaster, one minute up and the next minute down. What’s really scary is he’s right. My moods are all over the place. I can wake up happy then go to bed mad. Please help me with these feelings.
Jenny
Dear Jenny,
Everyone has feelings. They’re normal. We can feel happy, sad, mad, glad, ashamed, lonely, proud, and embarrassed, just to name a few. What is important is to understand what leads up to making you feel certain feelings. Learning to recognize and talk about one’s feelings is an important part of growing up.
When you are angry with someone and want some awful thing to happen to them, ask yourself what happened before the feeling started? Did they say or do something that made you angry? Did you feel hurt, sad, jealous or another not-so-good feeling? Once you figure out why you feel a certain way it may be easier to know what to do with your feelings.
When you are feeling sad, ask yourself the same questions. Did someone do or say something to make you feel sad? When you’re sad it’s okay to cry. Sometimes crying is the best thing to do because it helps the sadness wash away with your tears. Another helpful thing to do is talk to someone you trust. Being able to talk and learn about your feelings can help you understand yourself more. It may also help others to understand you too, like your brother. The most important thing to remember is that all feelings are okay – it’s what you do with them that counts. If you want to talk some more, just e-mail my mom, Toni, at trichmond@cacjc.org. (She works with me and the kids everyday and will tell me if you e-mail back!)
Your friend, Jack
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