Dear Jack,
I’m 8 years old and live with my mom and her boyfriend. My real dad isn’t around and we don’t know where he is living. I haven’t seen him since I was 5. I miss him. Mom’s boyfriend says he wants to be my dad, but I already have one. He says I’m special and buys me candy and other treats, but he says “Don’t tell -- it’s our secret.” There are other things he asks me to keep a secret about too, things I don’t like. I’m a good secret keeper because I never told mom about the birthday present we got for her or about the secret handshake I have with my best friend. Those other things make me feel bad. I get stomach aches and have bad dreams. What should I do?
Your friend, Shannon
Dear Shannon,
Some secrets are okay, like your mom’s birthday present or the secret about who is wearing the ghost costume at Halloween and your special handshake. These secrets are fun and exciting, especially when others get to find out and the secret is over. These are not FOREVER secrets. Forever secrets are when someone tells you that you can’t tell and no one else knows about it. These secrets may have to do with secret touching. It happens when an older or bigger person touches a child’s special parts and makes it a secret. If this is happening, you need to tell your mom or another trusted adult, like your teacher, so it can stop. It may be one of the hardest things you ever have to do, but once you tell you will feel better and not be hurt anymore.
If you are scared and need help, you or someone you trust can call my mom’s office, (541) 734-5437. You can also write back to me! Thanks for writing and remember that anytime you are scared about something, you can tell an adult you trust.
Jack
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