Jack answers questions about male sexual assault

 

Dear Jack,

I’m a junior in high school and am very athletic.  I play football in the fall and baseball in the spring.  I have a great group of friends and an awesome family, but something happened to me when I was visiting a friend over spring break that I have not told anyone.  I was at a party where there was a keg and a bunch of college girls and guys.  I had too much to drink, because I usually don’t drink, and passed out.  When I woke up I was in a bedroom, in a bed without any clothes on and a strange girl sleeping next to me.  When she woke up she acted like we knew each other VERY well.  I didn’t know what to do so I got dressed and left.

I think something happened when I was passed out and it’s freaking me out.  I know some people might think I was lucky to have been picked by an “older woman”, but I did not choose her.  I was incapacitated and now I’m not sure if I have a sexually transmitted disease or something else. What can I do?

“Mark”

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Dear Mark,

Male sexual assault is something that most people don’t want to talk about, but approximately one in six boys are sexually abused before age 16. Males may suffer from the same symptoms as females such as anxiety, depression, anger, impaired relationships and sleep problems -- just to name a few.  Often they blame themselves and feel guilty that they were not in control.  They feel they may have done something to cause it (drinking) or should have done something to stop it (you were passed out). 

It is important to know that you are not alone and you can seek help.  You can call a teen hot- line or go to your nearest Children’s Advocacy Center or County Mental Health facility.  There will be people, specially trained, to deal with abuse and know how to help you. 

The Children’s Advocacy Center has a doctor on staff who can make sure you are okay and don’t have any STD’s or any other concerns.  You can then see a therapist who will help you through all that is going on.  In Oregon, if you are 14 or older, you can get services without needing parental permission.  They would leave it up to you to tell your family and/or friends if you choose to or not. 

Please take the time to call so you can begin to get the help you need and deserve.  If you would like to talk to someone over the phone you can always call my mom, Toni at: (541) 734-5437 X107.

Jack