More on what to do about bullying

Jack

Dear Jack,

I’m in the 6^th grade and am having problems with some of the other girls at my school.  I’m taller than most anyone else, am good in sports and can act and sing.  I like the way I look and my mom says I’m beautiful, but a mom will say that even if you’re not!  Anyway, I was liked in grade school and was even the class President, but this year everything has changed.  They call me names and come up to me in the halls and threaten to hurt me after school.  I stand up to them and act strong.  Sometimes I just say “Go ahead, hit me, then you’ll be expelled”.  Then I walk away, go into the bathroom and cry. I don’t want to tell on them as then I’ll be known as a snitch.  Why do they say those things and what can I do about it?

Amy

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Dear Amy,

Bullying is a major problem in our schools today.  It hurts a person’s emotional well- being and healthy development.  I wrote about this a while back, but it is helpful to talk about it so others might be helped again.  Usually bullies pick on people who they think are smaller and weaker.  Since you are taller than most of the others in your class that probably is not the case. 

Another reason people bully is because they feel inferior, not good enough.  Since you are athletic and talented maybe they are jealous of you and want to make you feel as bad as they do.  It doesn’t sound like these bullies are frightened of others and act tough so others will fear them first.  They might want attention, to be noticed by others, and they may also be angry and express this anger by being mean.

There are some things you may try when confronted by bullies like being nice to them.  It is hard to be mean to someone who is nice to you.  If that doesn’t work try to ignore and stay away from them.  Don’t look, listen or respond to them. It sounds like you have already confronted them, but you might want to tell them to leave you alone.  If that does not work you may need to talk to a trusted adult at school to get some help.  I know this is not what you want to do, but it may be the only solution if all the others fail.

There is a program on TV this week about bullying.  It is a four part series airing November 13-16^th on KOBI-TV/NBC5 and KOTI-TV/NBC2.  Part 1will focus on  “What is bullying?”  Part 2: “Cyber Bullying”, Part 3: “Surviving Bullies” and Part 4: “What to do -really”.   

This is really important for you and your friends to watch and after the last series on Thursday, November 15^th you can call into a panel for advice and talk to a therapist or school official.  It’s called “Night of Guidance”.  

Good luck Amy and thanks for being brave enough to talk about your problem and that of others.

Jack