Dear Jack,
I’m 13 years old and will be going to high school next
year. I want it to be a new beginning
for me. You see, I have not been as good
as I would like during middle school.
I’ve had lots of boyfriends so my reputation isn’t so great. I just like having someone else in my life
that makes me feel pretty and special. I haven’t done anything bad, just kissing
and hugging, but there’s been lots of boys.
I just don’t like being alone and I get bored after a week or two with
each one. How can I change how the other
kids see me? What can I do to change
their minds about who I am?
Melinda
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Dear Melinda,
Thanks for writing me about your problem. First of all, it’s important to know what you
have control over and what you don’t.
You don’t have control over what others think, feel or say about you,
you only have control over how you respond to them. I think this is a hard lesson to learn for
anyone. I guess what I’m trying to tell
you, is to ignore the negative behavior and talk. Soon others will get tired and stop,
especially when they don’t get a reaction out of you.
The second thing is to learn how to enjoy your own
company. You don’t have to have a
boyfriend to feel good about yourself or to feel complete. Maybe you can find a sport you like to do or
find some girl friends to hang with and do things together. You’ll have plenty of time to explore
relationships later. Why not take the
summer to explore and find out about yourself, your likes, dislikes, dreams and
any other thing that brings you joy.
Just get to know you. I hope this
has helped. If you want to talk to my
mom, Toni, you can always call the Children’s Advocacy Center. She really likes working with teens!
Jack
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