The problem with sexting

Dear Jack,

I’m a freshman in high school and see lots of my friend’s texting sexual stuff to their boyfriends and girlfriends, sometimes sending pictures without clothes on. I am confused about why boys and girls are treated differently if they are caught sexting.  I know that taking pictures of your private body parts may not be the smart thing to do, but it seems that boys don’t suffer the consequences like girls.  Why is that?

Jane Doe

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Dear Jane,

You’re right that boys and girls are sexting in equal numbers, but their motives are usually different. 

According to Rosalind Wiseman “girls tend to pose provocatively to get a guy’s attention, a boy will take a close up of his penis as a way to be funny….” 

Girls may get upset by seeing a males privates so they may tell an adult and the event stays private, but boys usually “solicit and forward sexts from girls….a boys ability to convince a classmate to send sexual pictures becomes the newest way to prove his masculinity to peer.”

The problem with all of this Jane is sexting turns you and others into objects that can be marketed all over the internet! 

This can interfere with your ability to form healthy relationships and confusion about what other people want and think rather than on what you really feel.  When you are not in touch with your emotions, you “miss out on a basic task of growing up: deciding for (yourself) what (you) like and value, and who (you) really are as a person.”

The bottom line is sexting has wide ranging consequences from public embarrassment to humiliation. 

“The overall experience can be devastating.”  Please think about what I’ve said, sexting is more than “not the smart thing to do” it can impact your life for years to come. 

If you would like to talk to my mom, Toni, about this in more detail, please call her at: (541) 734-5437 X107 or email her at: trichmond@cacjc.org

Jack